Some people take Valentine’s Day quite seriously. Did you know a full 8% of all marriage proposals occur on Valentine’s Day?
So if you’re close to popping the question and you know when, how about the where?
I heard a story once about a very romantic (and slightly risky) way to propose. This guy took his girlfriend for a romantic stroll on a summer evening on the beach at the Jersey Shore. The sun wasn’t quite done setting but the crowds had thinned out. He had the ring in his pocket but wanted it to be hidden in the sand to propose on the walk back, so he cleverly bent to tie his shoe, palming the ring box. When she wasn’t looking he hid it in the sand.
The danger, of course, was losing track of the exact spot. But he pulled it off. On the walk back he steered the conversation toward romance, and was soon on bended knee proposing marriage and magically retrieving a ring from the beach.
Sunset on a beach is a good way to go. But this is New Jersey. There’s good and there’s bad. Just for fun, here are 7 places to NEVER propose marriage in the Garden State.
Anywhere Outdoors In Florence
Why? Because just across the river from this Burlington County town lies a landfill in Tullytown, Pennsylvania, that has been gassing out Florence for years with a noxious odor. You never know when it’s going to hit. Even if you live in Florence, don’t propose in Florence.
Any New Jersey Bay At Low Tide
If you haven’t experienced that corpse fish stench you don’t want to start during your special moment. And nothing might make a woman say no faster than being eaten alive by greenheads.
Any NJ Bowling Alley
A rug can really tie a room together, but a bowling alley isn’t helping anyone tie the knot. I don’t care if it’s where you first met. It’s loud, it’s unromantic, it’s not to be done. General rule of thumb: don’t propose marriage wearing rented shoes.
The Turtle Back Zoo
Even if she’s an animal lover, think about who’s always there. Kids. Many, many kids. Young kids. Screaming kids. Tired, tantrum-prone kids. You know how some believe never bring a young kid to a wedding? This would be like bringing the wedding to them. Don’t.
Do I really need to point this one out? Even if she’s into the idea of a throuple, even if you’re the biggest Sopranos fan ever, imagine she has to spend the rest of her life lying so no one knows you were dumb enough to propose at The Bada Bing strip club. Fuggetabout it.
Anywhere Within 5 Miles of Exit 13A
“Where did my husband propose? In the shadows of the refineries, the wastewater treatment plant, by Newark Airport, near the chemical plants and not far from the prison. It was SO romantic!” said no one ever.
At The Beach Using A Banner Plane
Yes, beaches can be romantic. But not when you make a public spectacle out of her private moment which will result in a thousand strangers staring at her in a swimsuit. And when you’re on bended knee they’ll all pull out their cell phones to take pictures. Of her. In her swimsuit.
Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.
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